Inside Out
by Kirk Baldridge
Summary: It's the end...and a beginning. I can't be any more specific than that without giving anything away.


NAME: Kirk Baldridge

EMAIL:

TITLE: Inside Out

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, names, places, etc. They all belong to Kim Harrison, and I would just like to take this opportunity to thank her for creating them.

FANDOM: The Hollows

PAIRING: Rachel / Ivy

RATING: M

SUMMARY: It's the end…and a beginning. I can't be any more specific without giving everything away.

SPOILER: None. There is no set time frame for this.

Part One: The Fall

'_What happened?_'

Rachel and Jenks and I were out on a run, together. First time in a long time. It was just supposed to be a couple of Weres running a scam. Half a day's work, maybe.

I saw him, a second too late.

'_Too slow._'

A Human with a gun, aimed at Rachel. I didn't stop to think I just reacted. I couldn't let it happen.

"Look out!"

I lunged at her, but I was too far. All I could do was shove her out of the way.

"Ivy!"

Blood. I smell blood. It hurts.

'_What happened?_'

"No!" Rachel's voice. She's scared. "Jenks! Get help! Hang on, Ivy!"

I'm so cold. Why am I cold? It's the middle of the summer. I shouldn't be this cold_._

"Ivy?"

Someone's crying. Is that Rachel?

'_No, it's okay._' I reach for her, but my arms won't move. '_I'm here. I'm right here.' _

"Please, don't leave me, Ivy! Jenks!"

'_Oh God, am I dying? Is that what this is? No! Not yet! I'm not ready! Please, don't let this happen! I can't leave her, not yet! Not like this! Rachel! Please, no, I don't want to go! Please!_'

I see Rachel stroking my cheek, my hair, but I can't feel it. I can't feel anything.

"Hang on, Ivy. Please hang on."

I can barely hear her now. She's so far away. Everything's hazy.

'_No! I don't want to be like Piscary, like mom. I'll lose everyone. Rachel. Jenks. Glenn. Erica. Skimmer. They'll just be shades to me. Strangers. Please, just let it end! I can't! I can't!_'

"Ivy!"

I can see the light. It's calling me.

'_Goodbye._'

* * *

Part Two: In Between

I'm standing in the middle of a dark room. It feels oddly familiar. I can see the floors and the walls but I can't feel them. It's as if they are there and not there at the same time.

"Where am I?"

"That was really dumb, V."

I know that voice. I turn to see Kisten, standing before me in all his nude glory, bare skin glistening, and a familiar twinkle in his eyes. He smiles, baring the faintest hint of fangs.

"Hi."

I blink. "Hi yourself. What do you mean dumb?"

"You pushed her. Why didn't you pull her to the ground with you?" Kisten sighs. "I told you that wonderful redhead was going to be the death of you one day."

I'm confused. "So, I really am dead?" Kisten nods. "And you're…what? Here to greet me?"

"Actually, I'm supposed to be your guide."

"So why are you naked?"

Kisten looks down at himself. "Your subconscious, love. This is how you ideally see me. I can put on some clothes if you want." Even as he says that, he's wearing the skin-tight black jeans I bought him for his birthday and a silk red shirt with most of the buttons undone. "There. Less distracting?"

"I don't understand. If I died, shouldn't I be rising again?"

"Oh, you will. It's happening now. This is…" Kisten bites his lip. "How do I explain this? It's sort of a like a midway station. Our souls come here when we die, and are guided into the afterlife, to wait for the rest of our consciousness to rejoin them. Only, it's not supposed to be like this."

"What do you mean?"

"You're just supposed to pass through. A fleeting thought. Not manifest physically. Something weird must be going on in the living world." Kisten's eyes widen. "Oh, now I get it."

"What?"

"Look at yourself, love."

I'm glowing. My aura is on fire, gold and black with a touch of red. It surges around and within me. I feel warmth and love. I look at Kisten. He's transparent now. "What is going on?" I feel something on the outer edge of my consciousness, pulling me back. "What's happening to me?"

Kisten shakes his head. "She couldn't do it."

"Do what?"

"Let you go. I should have known she'd find a way."

"What are you talking about?"

"You'll see." Kisten grins. I've missed that. "Give my love to Rachel. I'll see you both again, eventually. Until then, take care of each other."

Everything turns inside out.

I can feel again.

* * *

Part Three: The Rise

I jerk awake.

I can feel my lungs expand, though I know I'm not actually breathing. I never will again. I sit up, sweeping the sheet off my face. I'm in my own bed, in my room. The church.

I'm home.

It's night. Even though the room is pitch black, I can see every single detail, from the various shades of paint on the wall to the individual specks of dust on my dresser.

I can also hear a strong, steady heart beat close by. I turn, to see Rachel curled up beside me. I reach out and stop just short of touching her face. My God…her scent. Redwood as always but stronger.

'_Do it! Take her!_'

It's dangerous, for her to be this close. So soon after I rise. "Rachel."

Her eyes snap open. "Ivy?" She sits up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure. What happened?"

"You were shot, saving me. I'm so sorry, Ivy."

"It's not your fault." I hold up my hands. My skin is even paler than usual. "Have you told my family?"

Rachel nods. "You've been down for two days, Ivy. Your Dad and Erica have been and gone. Cormel too. Your mom…she apparently said she'll come and visit once you're up and about, if you don't come to see her first. I think it was a threat."

"Probably." It's weird. I'm talking, which means air must be moving through my lungs, and yet there is no intake or exhaling going on, and my heart isn't beating. Everything is so bright and loud. "What about Glenn?"

"He put all the paperwork through and helped us get around the red tape. They wanted to take you to the morgue but I wouldn't let them. I knew you'd want to be here, with us."

"Thank you." I swing my legs off the side of the bed. "Rachel?" My skin is humming. As she slides closer, the sensation gets stronger. "I still feel…everything. It's not like Mom and Piscary described. I see you, and I don't just know who you are, I remember our first assignment for the I.S., laughing when I saw you face down in the pool after the Troll tripped you, kissing you, biting you. I'm still me. How can I still be me?"

Rachel wipes her eyes, and takes a deep breath. "It was an accident. I was holding you as you died, and I couldn't let you go. I was crying and screaming and there was this…I don't know, ripple. Somehow, our auras merged and your soul…it's like it started to slip from your body but I pulled it back."

"You saved me."

"Al showed up a little while later, without being summoned. Apparently, I tapped into the ever after without even realizing it, and everyone from Newt to Dali felt it. I tore a hole, and he was able to follow it back. He said he wasn't surprised it was me, or that it was because of you."

I guess I must have looked panicked. She takes my hand.

"It's okay. Everything's fixed now. That was a fluke. The hole repaired itself, and Al is back in the ever after where he belongs." Rachel smiles. "The point is, you're still you, Ivy."

"You did it." I'm crying, but I don't care. I can still feel. "I love you, Rachel."

Still holding my hand, Rachel brings to her lips and kisses it. "I know, and I'm sorry, for everything I put you through." She lets go of my hand and cups my cheeks. "I love you too, my Ivy Alisha Tamwood."

"Are you sure? Rachel, I'm undead now. Can you really love a thing?"

"What does this tell you?"

Rachel is kissing me. Really kissing me. Not like a friend, not like a sister.

I may not be alive anymore, but now, finally, I can start to live.


End file.
